Legs legs legs!

I'm starting to hit the point where I'm starting to see really nice physical changes in my body. I'm getting leaner, my muscles are shaping up and getting more and more visible as the fat is going. I've only been at it for about two months now and look at my legs!!

I've always really liked my legs but there's like no fat left on them anymore (my thighs are a completely different matter, though.. :D). Looking forward to this summer now! A nice pair of heels and a skirt or shorts, no better way to show off haha.

And rocking the Hard Rock Cafe slacks of course! Love these things, hopefully I don't shrink too much to be able to wear these in a few months.

WI 8: -1.2kg

Only 100g away from getting rid of that ridiculous 1.8kg gain two weeks ago! Very happy about that. Felt so good to see that number on the scales this morning.

Back problems

The back of the body workout for Phase 2 really seems to kill my back. Tuesday night was pretty agonising. I had to use the combination of painkillers, a massage and heat gel to get the pain to settle down. I still had that screaming at the back of my head during today's workout, I was just so scared to hurt myself again that I didn't give 100%. And it really annoys me now. I know it's about my health and looking fit comes second, but still! I'm stubborn when it comes to stuff like this so I really want to push myself as hard as I can.

But on the upside, I'm getting really healthy cravings! I cooked some vegetable burger patties for dinner yesterday and had wholewheat pasta with em. They were so delicious! Unfortunately it's the end of the week and our fridge is starting to be empty of everything so I'm not getting any salad with my dinner tonight. :(

There's a bear in the lounge

I let out quite a few of manly roars during my workout today. :D First day of Phase 2 and it definitely was a lot harder than it looked like. Oh, and typing this is really hurting my arms!

As you might think a step up in level also means a step up in difficulty. You are asked to use heavier weights, to rely on your balance more while doing difficult exercises (one leg squats with a dumbell and so on), to push more out of yourself. The resistance cable is also present in every workout apart from the cardio. It is difficult. Crescent or a deep lunge is very very hard to hold for 30 seconds while squeezing the juices out of your arms.

I also want to be more strict with myself with food from now on. No more cheeky nibbles between meals. I allowed myself to slip a little during the first month to see what it'd actually do to my progress, and seeing how little I lost in the end made me decide that it's time to leave the crisps alone for good. Also looking into buying my lunches so I can just stick a bowl of soup in the microwave instead of having to cook something every day. I've noticed that my laziness makes me grab the bag of crisps every time. Plenty of food in the house and lots of different options but it takes time. When I'm hungry, I want food that second, not in 20 minutes. Having for example Weight Watchers soups and prepared meals in the house would probably fix that and help me lose that tiny bit more weight every week.

I'm actually still feeling really full from lunch. Had leftover roast chicken (no skin!) with couscous, peas and red peppers + seasoning and spices. There was a tub of Weight Watchers creme fraiche in the fridge so a few dollops of that went in too to make everything stick together. Very yummy and light on calories. There's some ready prepared chicken and fish in the freezer so might just have something like that for dinner with a ton of salad. Nom!

Feels like spring!

It was supposed to be my rest day today but it's been so wonderful and sunny for the past three days. I ended up going for a long walk along the seafront, think I was out for about an hour! It's so nice to be so close to the sea, it's so refreshing to walk along the beach and just soak in the lovely sea air. I should've gone a bit earlier though, it was getting a bit nippy.

Picture time!

OK, I don't feel quite as bad anymore after seeing the difference in the pictures. I've clearly toned up so much since I started doing Body Revolution. Still got a long way to go but you know, it's a start!

1st January 2013 - 17th February 2013

WI 7: -0.5kg + Phase 1 progress

I've gotta say, I'm very disappointed with the results so far. :/ I was hoping for a lot more than this. Numbers in brackets is the measurement at the start of Phase 1.

Weight: 81,5kg (80,2kg)
Arms: 31,5cm (32,5cm)
Bust: 105cm (105,5cm)
Waist: 78cm (79cm)
Belly: 100cm (100cm)
Thighs: 61,5cm (62,5cm)

And so disappointed with the weight loss too, I wanted to go lower so my Phase 1 loss would've been a lot higher. Now it just looks like I never lost anything. :( Meh.

Phase 1 0 - 1 Panda

I did it! Phase 1 of BR is now behind me! I feel absolutely fantastic and so proud of myself for getting through it. When I got BR I was a bit worried that I'd give up halfway through, using my back as an exucse. But I didn't. I'm so proud. Having my other half watching me work out has helped too, I've pushed myself through the exercises instead of giving up with some of the more difficult ones. I am so determined to finish this program now. Oh and my OH also did the cardio workout with me today! Or well, 2/3 of it. Very happy to have such a supportive partner.

Time to watch workouts 1 & 2 + cardio 2 for Phase 2. :) As usual I will post my measurements and weight tomorrow. And it's picture time too! Pics will be posted either tomorrow or on Monday.

The Visitor - A Tale for Valentines

I've often likened myself to an island.  I love people, and I love music.  Those two things quite suffice.

However, one of dearest friends in Liverpool said something that got me thinking way back when.  She said, "Sarah, you know, it's strange - I'd consider you one of my best friends, but I know very little about you."

She was right.  I know so many people and could chat the day away, but as excruciatingly social as I am, I am also intensely guarded.  I've always figured that I had a certain amount of transparency and that people could just inherently "know" me.  Well, they may, but I'm not the greatest at getting very close with people.

I'm even worse at using the word boyfriend.

I am a lover of humans.  I thrive on human interaction, and am happy to galavant about and join in whatever people just might get up to.  It is as though the entire world is my boyfriend.  

I had an odd thought lately, but I'm going to share it with you anyway.  You should expect this by now.  

When I'd started dating someone a bit back in the day in Liverpool, a friend of mine said, "Sarah - it's just strange.  And this isn't meant to sound horrible, but it's almost like you're asexual.  I just can't imagine anyone being attached to you."

I thought that was hilarious, and actually quite accurate!  As I said, it is as though the world is my boyfriend.  It's almost as though I have this silly sense of duty to the world to love everyone and be everything I can be for them, so to have someone, one person, who I call my boyfriend or even, maybe, you know, fall in LOVE with, would just be ludicrous and a huge disservice to all of the lovely humans.

I did tell you it was an odd thought.

But, here's the thing.

This island had a visitor.

The visit was far more brief than I'd have cared for it to be, but it happened.  Someone got to this island.  It was good.  It was fun.  He was lovely.  I wasn't expecting it, and I got more out of it than I could have possibly anticipated.  Even when it ended, it ended with a three hour, wonderful conversation that literally ended a phase of chaos and helped me learn a great deal about myself.  

I'm not an island, I suppose.  And letting someone get to me, while possibly a disservice to all the other humans in the world (oh gee, laugh out loud, etc.), turned out to be wonderful.  

A few things that I got from this:  

I know even more lovely humans.
I learned that it turns out, I'm a pretty good girlfriend.

I learned that I don't have to worry about being able to handle work, working out, dieting, a social life, plus having a companion along for the ride.  I can do it.

I was reminded how wonderfully we all deserve to be treated and can't wait for it to happen again someday.

I also got Mister Breakfast.  It just happened, and we had to elaborate...  See below.

I'm spending Valentines Day running around town in a red polka dot shirt my Mom got for me handing out silly Lego Star Wars & holographic kitten and puppy valentines with candy hearts in them to all of my favorite humans, and probably a few I don't even know.  And then I'm going to have dinner with one of my favorite ladies in the world.  And then I'm going to smile for a moment and look forward to when I have another island visitor to share it with someday.

I do have copious amounts of love for you all.  Have the happiest Valentines Day.

WI 6: +1.8kg

Are you fucking kidding me, seriously?!

So my body thinks that based on this week's calorie intake I've gained so much weight that I'm back to the reading about four weeks ago? And I can't help but beat myself up about last night - I could've gone for the more healthy options but I didn't. Self discipline was below zero last night and it annoys me so much right now.

I know the scales aren't telling the whole story, but it does discourage me so much to think that I've worked so hard all week just to see the scale show such a massive gain. My other half kept telling me that it's muscle and that I look better than ever, but still. ARGH!!

Getting a bit obsessed

I seem to be watching my food more than ever. We went out to Brighton today to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. We had dinner at JB's American Diner, quite a "standard" American place if you ask me. They only really had burgers + some steak, a few wraps and salads. None of the wraps and salads really tickled my fancy so I went for a classic beef burger.

Now here's a little secret. I couldn't enjoy myself. I kept thinking about tomorrow's WI and if this meal is going to affect it in a negative way. I also had chicken strips, two bottles of cider and a few sips from my other half's Milkyway milkshake. Well over my calorie budget without even doing the math. I know it's so perfectly OK to have 'cheat days' every now and then, but having it the night before my WI just makes me so nervous. So nervous, that during the day I barely had anything to eat. I had two cups of coffee, a pot of yoghurt, a small Kit Kat and a bag of crisps to keep me going until dinner. No proper breakfast or lunch.

I'm gonna be absolutely honest, not losing weight or having a gain tomorrow will upset me. I know it's normal but still. I'm going down, not up.

Aching again - and loving it!

So, since Monday I've done the two new workouts. I ache! It actually feels really good to move a bit and feel that post workout ache in my muscles - especially in the abs! Absolutely loving it right now. At least I know I'm doing the workouts right instead of just half assing it.

It's a massive step up from the first two workouts, that's for sure. 1&2 mainly focused on one big muscle group at a time, giving some time for my body to adjust to the amount of exercise. But 3&4 are making me work extra hard, combining legs and arms in the same move and so on. Looking forward to finishing Phase 1 now, I'm so certain that I'll start seeing big results soon!

Today is my cardio day, it's nice to let my muscles rest a bit. :)

Feeling good feels good.

It's impossible to not feel slightly more good after listening
to this.  Walk down the street playing this in your earbuds
and tell me you don't smile.  Impossible!

It's funny how life has its ebbs and flows.  This is nothing new, but somehow it seems like an epiphany over and over again.  When you're in the thick of it, some part of you is very logical and aware that it will most certainly pass, but another part of you just can't see past it.  It's hard to remember how to get back to feeling good again.

Once I got the hang of tracking my food, eating healthier and exercising regularly, it got to be second nature. It seemed so easy.  It was the norm.  It wasn't a challenge.  It was my way of life.  It was all so simple and so good.  

I forgot how easy it can be for that to not be the norm.

After a summer and an autumn of struggle, things are finally getting back to normal.  Being the person of extremes that I am, I expected to just start back up and rule the world as I remembered doing before.  But, therein lies the problem!  I had to break my mindset of trying to get back to where was.

I

am

not

THERE anymore!  That was then.  This is now.  Move along.

A lot has changed since then.  But, things have settled down and I'm in a better place in every way now.  I love it when you finally feel something break, something give way, and you know that you're on the right path again.  Well, it's not even that you're on the correct path again - you're at a great pace and making some serious headway towards whatever intersection, bend, bridge or whatever might be on the way.

I met up with a friend last Sunday who is a dietitian.  The initial plan was to talk about food, get some good ideas for new ways of eating, and new things to eat.  It ended up being a great conversation about where I'm at in life in general and what I've got to do to progress.  

It was a healthy dose of divine intervention.  Even though the things we talked about are things I already knew, it sometimes takes the right person at the right time saying something they didn't even know they needed to that hits you, breaks you down, builds you up, and propels you all at once.

I keep forgetting that life is a process.  Things don't magically find a perfect groove forever.  You may have a good stretch, but you'll have rough ones, too.  And they will come and go, and then come and go again.  

I'm finally starting to get it.  

I don't have to do it all at once!  There are so many things I need to do, both at work, and for myself.  But I've been working on a few things at a time.  This week, my goal was to go grocery shopping and return to my regular eating and exercise habits, remembering that even if I only get a half hour of something in, it is better than nothing.  I've also tried starting my days with 10-15 minutes of some kind of exercise.  One morning, I did a 10 minute Pilates video.  Another morning, I did a bunch of core exercises.  I've overcome my urge to buy peanut butter, because if that's in my house, well - it's over.  

I've also done necessary but boring things like scheduling appointments with doctors and insurance agents, rethinking my spending habits and reworking my budget, getting organized, and figuring out a regular schedule of exercise.  I just might start going to bed earlier, too.  

You've heard me say this before, and I will say it over and over again.

It is amazing what happens when you make calculated, boring, conscious choices to simply do things.  

I'm learning that feeling good and being content is not as simple as "feeling" good.  Right now, I've got a lot to work on.  But feeling good is a choice, and it's choosing to make good decisions that will lead to a life of good, not a season of good.  

It's a new kind of goodness, but nonetheless, it feels good to feel good once again.

WI 5: -0.8kg

Hah, screw you last week! Managed to get rid of the +0.5kg I gained last week AND an extra 0.3kg! I think I've finally found a good way of eating and exercising. BR is quite demanding on the body despite being only 30 minutes a day, so I don't feel bad about having a biscuit with my morning coffee and so on.

And today's plan is to go to the cinema, might treat myself to a small bag of sweets. :)

Phase 1: Workouts 1 & 2 - overview

Half way through phase one! Thought that I'd write a little something about the past two weeks in one handy post.

The only thing that really hit me during the first workouts was the cardio - even after two weeks my calfs are screaming me to stop bouncing around like a bunny rabbit. It is so intense for calfs alone, other body parts are pretty much left in peace during this.

So, the first crosstraining workouts aren't quite as tough as you'd think. The moves you are doing are stuff that most of us probably learns during P.E. classes in school. And having done some of 30 Day Shred made it easier for me, as a lot of the moves were really familiar to me when doing BR. I really recommend doing 30DS first (or at least some of it, I did two weeks of Jillian's workouts before starting) if you are thinking of ordering BR, it'll make the first two weeks so much easier and more enjoyable.

For me the biggest failure was the kickstart. Like I've said so so many times before, the cardio killed me after the first workout. I just couldn't do the cardio workout every day on top of my crosstraining. I barely got out of bed after two days. And the diet itself didn't last for the entire week, I just craved carbs so bad and I was really hungry despite still eating about 1200 calories.

Looking forward to the next two weeks! Gonna watch the workouts either tonight or tomorrow to get familiar with the moves beforehand. I find that really handy because then I won't have to spend half of my workout staring at Jillian doing all these moves and then trying to catch up.